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Depression no where else to post, some anime talkDepression no where else to post, some anime talkDiary

NekoNicoRobinNekoNicoRobin1 måned siden
Hi guys, i was only able to make it through the past 3 nights because I had fate heavens feel to watch,
Now I will catch up on idolmaster, love live I am at around episode 6 for both of those anime. But yes I know it will be another relatively long night, last night i finally fell asleep after watching Heavens feel part 3.

Currently going through a lot atm, I am going to try to petition my school for tuition refund,

however am stressed because I may not be able to get all the documentation, as someone that worries about things a lot, I find myself unable to enjoy much of anything

Art seems to scare me a lot of the time, because I dont know where to start, I am afraid to experiment digitally

sometimes I tell myself I am a fool for thinking I can learn this. Many days all i can do is sketch.

With coloring things, I get so anxious because I dont know how any of the tools work. As a result I havent finished a piece of art in a while.

I have no where else to post this because all my online accounts are banned, received ban for all account on reddit recently, and when I make a new account it gets deleted within a day.
The one pet site ive played on for years recently banned all my accounts....
i h8 facebook, i dont know why I hold onto this crazy belief that I will one day be with those people again, i really should delete it since im jobless and havent accomplished much in the past few years, nothing worth posting especially.

I really lost a lot that day, my friends, havent been in school in over 2 years, and then the disgust from family members who kept bringing up what had happened against me..

But yes I still do think I have the aptitude to do things, its just hard to let things go when for the longest time you have been struggling.. I still do go on twitch occassionally but yeah i left there for the longest time because I didnt make many close friends and the ones I did have been just depressed as I have been and i dont know how they are doing at all.

I wish I could be like my dad, he could just get into an argument with my mom or I but then still have the mental focus to play his cello like nothing happened..

I do appreciate being able to be on here, thank you for reading if you made it this far :o. I dont know how long this type of pain will last but I am very thankful for this community.
1,683 treff • 9 favoriter26 kommentarer

Kommentarer26

You should not feel bad about only doing sketches. Even if it's not a finished art, you can improve just by sketching to a point where your sketches will look better than someone's finished drawing. If that is what you want. If you however want to move over to coloring and "finishing" drawings, you will eventually have to take the plunge. It's okay even if you are overwhelmed at first, you will keep learning new things, either from trying them out or from seeing other people do it (both help improve).

I have a similar issue, I waste a lot of time not learning (I call it a waste because I want to learn those things) stuff at a good enough pace, but at the end of the day as long as you do something, no matter for how much, you are taking a step towards a direction. If you want to modify the end goal along the way, that's okay, you have infinite opportunities for it. You can start coloring whenever, you can try out new tools, check out tutorials whenever, pick up new ideas whenever, THINK and come up with shit whenever.

Even if you are stuck right now, just know that it won't last forever, even if you wanted it to. Just try to not be let down by your expectations of where you want to be, because I guarantee you you could always be somewhere further than where you are now, and that is proof of there still potential being left on the table. This is not the top.
1 måned siden
lorycia1 måned siden#96138040Don't know what happened to you that you feel this way, but i can somehow relate to the art part.
It is not particular scary to me but still i also get nothing finished, may it be because of little time or just not knowing what to do. Then i see other artists creating some awsome stuff and then i think i need to put a lot more effort into this to grow but this discourages me to do more. And suddenly another year is over. rinse and repeat. Damn.
Ha, great choice there. Both shows to cute, to get depressed.

Yeah u r right... my issue tho varies. rn i am not in a rush tho, realized that if too many things r bothering me it is impossible to get things going.

I am being much more careful about ergonomics. in this case wrist positioning relative to typing and using a mouse.

finally, I am not thinking about this as being something challenging anymore but rather for fun and a way to exercise my mind. not going to worry about how looks but take as a stepping stone.

for too long I wanted to do this to impress people but i am way far off from that.
1 måned siden
Don't know what happened to you that you feel this way, but i can somehow relate to the art part.
It is not particular scary to me but still i also get nothing finished, may it be because of little time or just not knowing what to do. Then i see other artists creating some awsome stuff and then i think i need to put a lot more effort into this to grow but this discourages me to do more. And suddenly another year is over. rinse and repeat. Damn.

Reinier1 måned siden#96137617Have you tried watching Umaru-Chan:

or
Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid?

It might make you feel better.
Ha, great choice there. Both shows to cute, to get depressed.
1 måned siden
Bah-Roo1 måned siden#96137723MFC has a discord server if you wanna find people to chat to!!
Sounds like you have it pretty rough in many ways. I'm sorry, bud, I hope things pick up for you and you feel better soon.
[SENDING VIRTUAL HUG]
[...PLEASE WAIT]
[VIRTUAL HUG SENT]
much apprecated!
1 måned siden
MFC has a discord server if you wanna find people to chat to!!

Sounds like you have it pretty rough in many ways. I'm sorry, bud, I hope things pick up for you and you feel better soon.

[SENDING VIRTUAL HUG]
[...PLEASE WAIT]
[VIRTUAL HUG SENT]
1 måned siden
Reinier1 måned siden#96137617Have you tried watching Umaru-Chan:

or
Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid?

It might make you feel better.
Minalinskii1 måned siden#96137584Hey I hope you're doing okay, if you ever want to talk you can message me. Could talk about life or Idolm@ster/Love Live !
You mentioned losing a lot on "that" day. Don't know what happened since you didn't clarify but like I said earlier, if you want to talk, I'm here

Man just a little craziness its interesting my mistake is similar to my dads, nothing criminal tho luls
Now im doing fine its easy tho to get down on yourself, esp when u think u can figure it out yourself and then fail repeatedly
But yes the past few days felt like torture.

Was going to watch idolmaster this week but yeah watched lots of fate and then some other older anime like kaichou wa maid sama.
1 måned siden
Reinier1 måned siden#96137617Have you tried watching Umaru-Chan:

or
Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid?

It might make you feel better.

Hai i need to watch those o.o thanks for rec i forgot about kobayashi luls. Never heard of umaru chan.

But yes yes have been just chillin out. School problem i mentioned above is resolved for now so thats good.

Going to check thouse out soon tho :p
1 måned siden
Have you tried watching Umaru-Chan:



or

Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid?



It might make you feel better.
1 måned siden
Hey I hope you're doing okay, if you ever want to talk you can message me. Could talk about life or Idolm@ster/Love Live !

You mentioned losing a lot on "that" day. Don't know what happened since you didn't clarify but like I said earlier, if you want to talk, I'm here
1 måned siden
sailor_rnoon1 måned siden#96137532A lot of commenters here have said something about your frustrations with your artwork... But I wanna know, are you okay? It doesn't seem like you are. I hope that you are. I don't know where you live or how old you are, but I hope that you can reach out to someone you trust who can help you.
yes yes I am doing okay right now thanks for asking,
I just was not sure what the purpose of all this struggle was
ive concluded there is no purpose and some things you just have to go through.
Rn i am still in the trying to figure things out stage

while I did wake up a bit late today all wells :o. I did get something cleared up related to school i think.
i do wish sometimes I had a friend, ofc on the pet site I did have some but ofc lots of them were probably too busy :o so who knows. Ofc when I hear the name nakama in anime i dont really relate to it at all have almost forgot what its like to have a friend :o

I was getting very very down on the pet site mostly because lots of players are also slowly leaving, so i doubt i will go back for a while until I figure out life. I also was stressing out over hard to find in game items :/
1 måned siden
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